my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

Only your wife herself can tell you the exact reason why she's not interested in having sex with you. However if these women get divorced they have a sexual oasis spring up again between their legs because they need to find a new nest. If she isnt satisfied in bed, it could be that shes tired of initiating intimacy only to be left wanting. How can a person be so shallow that they base their lifelong relationship on whether or not their wife can help them empty their balls? Am I undesirable? Some could be related to body image issues, prior sexual sin, or abuse. You need to talk to her and get to the root of whats causing her panic and anxiety whenever she gets close to you; when she feels comfortable and that whatever major issue there is, gets resolved, maybe your sex life will return. We seem to have fallen into a marriage without sex. You have (understandable) guilt and shame about sex, undoubtedly influenced by your current predicament and the old trauma of feeling rejected during your first long-term partnership. if you want to get married for children just understand that your wife will stop wanting to have sex with you after she gets her babies. It sounds like you need a little bad-boy edge to get her engine revving. Outwardly to friends he seems a good husband, and he is BUT he will not have sex as he dies not fancy me anymore! I refuse to live out my life not feeling special. When someone Denys you something so fundamentally important, it is Not Cheating to Sometimes I wish he would go. This really sucks. She may well become that cat lady a previous poster described. why is he grumpy? And you are wasting your life . We are just roommates. oh when either of leave the house or return there is a generic kiss. But we dont have sex or make love or anything you want to call it! She said I was harassing her and that if I was so horny and needy, I should find someone else to relieve myself, but whatever, to stop harassing her. Doing that just causes me to be resentful of her, and the fact that Im now reduced to doing this nasty little juvenile thing for myself. WFT. 3. I have given up trying since the rejections and sometimes total indifference is devastating. I am a 64 year old woman who has lost all interest in sex. I suppose that his stomach, which is huge, the fact that he cant really get hard, and the fact that sex takes forever are some of the reasons why I no longer want to have sex. I would be gone before dark! If both parties dont want to change things (and only one does) then unfortunately the situation is probably doomed. A womans lack of interest in physical intimacy can be quite an intriguing puzzle to solve. So I disagree when people say leave the marriage as soon as the sex stops. Not sure what feels worse, not getting any or getting it with her just laying there. Men with low sex drive try lifting free weights in a gym. Since husbands are usually thought to be the problem regardless of whether the wife or the husband doesnt want sex, I should say that I do my fair share (50%+) of house chores, am emotionally supportive of her, and a nice guy, but that is irrelevant. It may not really mean anything bigger at all. Oh stfu. Im Maried for 5 years and from one year until now my wife change completely like a different person she don't let me hold her hands or touch her or kiss her and sex more than 6 months that she don't have sex with me I asked her if she don't love me anymore and she say that she love me and I asked her why she's doing you know all the . bcb If your sex life is devoid of experimenting with new sexual positions, role play, dressing up, creating a sensual ambiance, theres a chance that the same sexual routine has become boring and tiresome for your wife and she has started avoiding all physical contact. I think that for me I need the human touch of a mature woman. Always happy to help. . I went through marital counseling before the wedding. Were your one-stop destination for unraveling the mystery that is love. For many men, wooing and life after wooing are two vastly different realities. Then, let the pouting begin. I have a high libido and masterbate frequently, which I know she is aware of. Females are elevated to the superior status of the male they pair with the reverse is not true receive the protection and provisioning of that male, and enjoy the primary bond with the children. He is selfish, lazy and quite frankly a self absorbed narcissist. Sex is a HUGE part of a marriage, are you kidding me? Juggling household and professional responsibilities single-handedly is no easy feat. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. Then we got married and had kids (not that I regret) but 20 years of pulling teeth juts to get touched or even desired really hurts. He tries to manipulate me about everything and after 30 years of marriage I am over it. We know right form wrong. Talk with your husband about sexual fantasies he has or things he may want to try in the bedroom. Research published by the National Marriage Project found that couples who make time for date night experience benefits, such as, , improved communication skills, and injecting excitement and. Sounds to me like youve picking your men from the bar. If you are tired of initiating intimacy and are concerned that my wife wont touch me sexually, youre not alone. Im over 60 and Im learning to accept this is the way life is going to be for the rest of my life. Welcome to, IMO, male divine right. Ill be living in a van down by the river if we separate. Im 57 and my husband is 56 years old. Nothing is out of bounds! Its one less thing to think about or do. he is very persistent. She saw her doctor and prescribed a lube but it irritated her. No way you are real!!! 2. If your spouse has been going through such a patch, you must be a supportive husband post-pregnancy. The most affection I can show without her being irritated is spooning for a short period when were in bed Id better not move my hands to caress her! Sure I wish I could be confident in her skin too but Im not going to let it overwhelm me. I said well, (while pointing to my head) by the time you heal I will have checked out up here, I will be looking at women and wondering if they would be fun to be with. What r u holding on for?! Whatever it is, the impact for you is that you don't feel loved or cared about the same. When a woman looses her ovaries and/or had a hysterectomy the sex drive goes. By Joan Price how do i tell him that in this life, especially for them both, there is more to life than just sex. We lose ourselves. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Before the ink was dry on the marriage license, shed already decided she was done being nice. I told him I heard him doing that and I told him if he ever did that again I would divorce him. . Neither partner should have to feel obligated to satisfy the other out of some outmoded quasi religious relief or instruction, my wife is wonderful in many ways but now has reached, she believes, a stage[67] where she has no desire, except release masturbation , thats my misfortune but I try to understand. She needs you to see the world from her eyes and to understand her perspective. After reading most of the above letters I have come to the conclusion that married couples, for the most part, have all entered into relationships, never having the correct training. My husband will not have sex with me anymore. But many times women holds back based on how they are treated. The Bible says to not deny one another because it leads to stumbling. Tall. You deserve to be happy in your life as well. You treat her well, and she shows no interest in you. But just remember, mature willing women are unicorns. Also, make sure you share the housework equally, including the mental load. The more I got, the more I wanted. Yet she constantly professes love. Self-love is the answer, but you can help, too. may have led to years of unsatisfying sex, and the longer youre together, the more nervous she may be to bring it up. And he wonders why Im ill sometimes?? The experts have very little to offer. I only wrote this, to just say it. Some nice and some angry! Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. That is love. Instead of asking yourself something along the lines of, What to do when wife wont put out? ask your partner if theyd like to experience something different in bed. I have always been an affectionate person and have given affection but not received in return for at least a year. var disqus_config = function () { I have hypertension and medications have affected my ability to get an erection. 60s, 70s. As well as almost no feeling there as well. We both have health issues Yes it seems so mechanical and cut and dry the way some men are, so no sex is much more appealing. Its always whatever you want then she lays there kind of tense. Is this the same advice you would give a man that is in a sexless marriage? We love them. And yes thank goodness for self stimulation but what I wouldnt give for a womans touch!!! Damn was I a dumbass. Yeah. It works for him. I was being shipped out to Vietnam and we both were afraid of losing eachother. I urge you to seek help now. And pressure is a total libido killer that can set off a cycle of sexual avoidance, according to AASECT-certified sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, M.A. My first wife and I married when we were 21. Anything less is slow sewer side. Super heart broken!!! Rich B, I am 64 and my wife has withheld sex with me for the the last 5 years. Its not as rosy on our side of the fence, when you really look into it. Man, thats no way to respond to your wife, person you care deeply about whos saying to you that theyre experiencing mental health crisis in your relationship. I love you, but I am not happy this way. And one factor is being a caregiver. You are not catering to her sexual needs, How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating, build a successful relationship after cheating, communication exercises with your partner, 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship. If your wife avoids intimacy, this could be her way of punishing you for something she suspects you of. He retired a decade ago against my wishes. 80s, are victims of the same injustice and gender paradigms you are experiencing. Women want to be swept off their feet. The guy is obviously attracted to you and enjoys your company or why the 30 year dating? I wish she would just go away and never come back, shes got just about everything I own. Brilliant. I have done the majority of housework including doing the major role of raising our children from Pre school to leaving home. What we have Ive worked very hard to achieve. Childbirth is a life-altering experience thats not just hard on a womans body but also her mind. I cant imagine a marriage/partnership where that wasnt the case. My wife never initiates any form of Intimacy let alone Sex. Leah 09. I felt like she just gave me away to anyone emotionally and physically. She is unhappy with your lack of hygiene, 12. I am sorry but I think thats just nuts. 2. You risk losing it all for the same quick minute that you already have with your wife. But my wife was not. Because of its addictive nature, it rewires the brain by desensitizing you. 1. Of course, all this pressure makes it harder for sex to seem to go well.". Or a genuine, romantic, butterflies-in-the-stomach exchange? Bull. Once you restore an emotional connection, your physical one is sure to follow. Emotional intimacy is a big factor in a happy marriage and a satisfying sex life. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. For the past eight years it has been like I am married to my sister. In this case, you can turn the tide for your sex life by simply becoming more involved in running the household and making your wife feel special by going the extra mile toreduce her burden. All the way. She is a vegetarian and a purist in many ways, rejecting hormone therapy because of the published risks of breast cancer associated with hormone therapy, though small, my doctor stated. Just give him some and hopefully he will stop keeping you awake. Even worse, because Im larger than average, she can no longer handle my penis even if she wanted to. Should they chew the food and pretend it tastes wonderful? You ever think about getting some on the side? . Too bad; I truly live him but I dont need the stress. It can be helpful to have this conversation with the help of a sexuality professional, such as a sex therapist or coach. Should I ask her what our sex future will be? We have done counseling and it always comes back to my issues which I work on but have never seen any change from her. We still find a way a couple of times a month, but it took my husband a long time to not feel he was at fault. It is now marketers more to females also, which isnt improving relationships. Better than NO sex of any sort for 10+ years, and being rediculed for masturbating. I have difficulty ejaculating and often, cannot get erections with her. Its been over three months since weve had sex. Resentment Colors your entire relationship gray. I am a 58 year old woman. I have never, nor will I ever cheat. Not only may this put her off being intimate, but you may be setting yourself and your wife up for a stressful encounter. If shes not in the mood neither am I . Since this is our first child, I dont even know whats normal and what isnt. Sharing your desires is essential, as is listening to her needs. No human being should dominate another person. My wife and I are in our 60s, very active and in good health. I respect your right to your opinion, but to say that an egalitarian relationship always ends in dysfunction & misery is unfounded and far from true. That leads to I dont like you. So, youre going to break up a marriage of 43 years, because you dont want to masturbate. Men provide protection, stability, and resources. And that's perfectly fine! I work part time at a day care and I find that when I havent gotten sleep the night before, my patience with the kids is really tested. I have the sex drive I had when I was 20, and I feel like me again. Given the fact that 34%, (some studies say as high as 40%) of women and 15% of men dont like/want sex, is it any wonder that 50% of marriages end in divorce? I am aware of the risks, and am more than willing to live with them, rather than go back to how I was before. /** Hell go out and get what you can as long as its safe and mutually desired. At least your wife gives you a hand job AND wants you to Cum on her tits! He keeps saying hell do better, but nothing ever happens! Because then who leads? * 2. Go be the cat lady then. And when that happens, what used to turn you on about your wife wont turn you on anymore. I have been married for almost 30 years and except for 3 wonderful children our sex life has been hit and miss. I think it is up to me to possibly leave my marriage because my husband is not about to change, discuss any issues, or ultimately have sex. (You might want to share with her an excellent resource about responsive desire, Emily Nagoskis book Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life.). struggles or clinical depression? The distance could be herway of punishing you and teaching you a lesson. She says that its up to me to deal with it however I choose. Senior Planets comments are open for all readers/subscribers; we love hearing from you! I just CANNOT do things he EXPECTS from me because of how that makes me feel, ESPECIALLY when it comes to intimacy. Leave her, even if youre alone. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. I asked her how long will this take for you to get over this panic stuff. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. He has performance anxiety. Please go find someone else to enjoy sex with if you can. If it were just about sex, I wouldve left a long time ago. Lifes too damn short for no pleasure. As for porn, I dont mind it at all when he watches it (though he thinks I never see him), after all, we are all human and have drives and needs. For me, its been 8x in 3 yearsand Ive tried talking about it with him as frequency has dwindled to essentially nothing. For most women, sexual desire is fueled by romantic feelings for their partner. One of the scariest reasons your wife wont have sex with you may be that she has feelings or is being intimate with someone else. It is one of the classic signs of a cheating wife and if your gut tells you somethings up, it may be worth investigating it a bit further. I dont know why your husband would even want to be intimate with you, you sound like a harpy. Read the first sentence again. Demetria, so how old are you now? Thank goodness we get along well in every other area, however Im at a loss. What is the solution? So now a hug one a day (maybe) and pecks on lips when leaving house. There is a lot more going on there. Equality sounds great in principle people should be equal, right? * LEARN WHY DEFINING THESE VARIABLES IS IMPORTANT: Senior Planet Community is our social media platform designed specifically for older adult users. What does it mean when your wife doesn't show affection? Sounds like you had a good long run and shouldnt be complaining. Shes taking care of the house and shes working as well. Sometimes losing interest in sex with your spouse is a symptom of losing interest in the relationship overall. Marriage, at its core, is a compromise that trades each partners strengths to make both better off but at a cost. But after our second kid it just dried up to not much. 18 months later I was told NO sex, by the way we had not had regular sex for near 15 years, and Sexless for near 10. It may also help to learn about different forms of desire discrepancy. Masturbation in the case of a marriage where one party is no longer interested in having sex and actively resists any overtures along those lines would seem to be the logical course of action. 30 years in sexless marriage. My wife and me have been married 9 1/2 years and entered a phas of no sex about 6 months ago. I have been a loyal affectionate hard working husband ( I would say that!) I have never been a man so I cannot empathize with a man. Are you in a similar place in your relationship? Ive always wanted sex more than she has, though the first years were pretty satisfying for both of us. In some cases, this can escalate intopostpartum depression, which is a common reason why many women experience a lack of sexual desire after childbirth.

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